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Blaming others and Success

Blaming others and SuccessMost people are unable to understand the linkage between what they desire and what they deserve. You deserve on the strength of your effectiveness, your competencies and the strength of your connectivity with the ultimate reality. These need you to schedule your time to develop yourself continuously. And, that is not easy. The most easily picked up conditioned response is to blame others or circumstances in situations where results are not to expectations.

When you blame others, you give up your power to change; you create an environment of De-motivation around you by the negative energy of blaming. Success is in taking responsibility of the results as the first step for bringing in the desired results. Time spent in blaming is a total waste.

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives. - J. Michael Straczynski

Most of the blamers are those people who have not succeeded to the appropriate level that they wish. They are mostly wishful thinkers that cannot transform the wish into well-formed-outcomes and goals and therefore, they hardly know what to do and if they know what to do, they hardly have the appropriate level of skills. Blamers have great imaginations. They can easily figure out the way of turning the facts and distorting the realities in a way that salvages their character or reputation. They believed if they accept the responsibility instead of blaming others or even blaming themselves, they will be dramatically undermined and degraded. They just cannot take the pain of degradation. They see a great level of relief in blaming others.

The way they perceive the mistakes or faults is either to blame themselves or to blame others. They have only two options. Instead of blaming themselves, they find it easier to blame others. If they learnt that there is another option and it is not blaming anybody but accepting the responsibility for correcting the situation and learning the skills, they would begin a new path in their life.

The reason that the blamers do not succeed as well as the ones who take the responsibilities is in the fact that they expect success without any failure, without any fault and without any mistake. They just can't bear the guilt of not being able to do things correctly. Blamers think that success comes very easily and without any failure. The history of all successful people indicates that they do a lot of mistakes before they get it right and succeed. The successful people take the blame gracefully and begin to find a way for avoiding it next time when they are blamed for their failures. The blamers think differently. They look for everybody who have been somehow involved or could have been involved in a scenario. If they can find somebody who had some involvement in the faulty action they immediately begin to blame that person. If they cannot find somebody easily to blame for their wrongdoing then they blame their parents, people, the circumstances, the systems and even bad luck.

Examples of Blaming Others:

  • If a man cuts his finger off while slicing Salami at work, he blames the faulty equipment.
  • If a man smokes three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, he blames the tobacco company.
  • If a man crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the alcohol.
  • If the grandchildren are brats without manners, we blame television.

If the blamers wish to succeed in anything they have to accept responsibility for whatever they do and what has happened in their lives and avoid blaming others. Blaming circumstances or people would not resolve the problems of the blamers, in fact, it will increase their problems. Some of the blamers who have institutionalized blaming others have taken an attitude of transferring the blame for their own faults even when they get old. As they get older they increase the number of blaming others. If you sit down and talk with an old blamer you will realize that he has accumulated thousands of excuses for not being able to succeed and he has found hundreds of people to blame for his own failures.

The good news is that most of the conditioning of childhood that keeps you from success can be reversed. The starting point is the realization of the extent to which conditioning affects your perception that shapes your attitudes and behavior. For this, you are required to appreciate your vast unexplored potential and take responsibility of making "A" choice - that of doing something about it rather than being casual about it or blaming circumstances and people. You are also required to understand that the reprogramming takes place the same way as the programming in the initial stage - by repetition. Persistence, thus, becomes a key quality for success.

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses. - William Arthur Ward

Stop blaming everyone else for your problems

Stop blaming everyone else for your problemsLet's talk about blaming other people. Blaming other people for the reason why you don't have something will give all your power away to the other person. Your life is your responsibility. And it's only when you take full responsibility for your life is when you actually do something about it.

When you blame somebody, in effect, it actually means you expect somebody else to change your life situation. It means you are waiting for the other person to redeem you of your problems. It isn't their life though, it's your life.

If you think seriously about it, it's actually your fault that you are not happy, it's your fault for not taking those great opportunities and it's your fault for letting another person take advantage of you.

Your life is in direct response to the way how you treat yourself as a person. Everything you have in your life is a manifestation of how you treat yourself, NOT how somebody else treated you or what somebody else has done.

The reason why we blame others is because we become uncertain about our own capabilities and we become thwarted by our problems in life. We tend to come up with excuses to stay away from what we should be doing.

The truth is we don't like to admit when we are wrong and when we are caught; we like to shift the blame to someone or something else. If we are stopped for speeding we immediately offer an excuse, such as "I was going with the flow of traffic" (blaming someone else) or "I didn't see the sign noting the speed change" (blaming something else). We try to excuse our behavior and lessen the guilt and even the consequence of our sin.

Regardless of how much you blame others, it will not change your life; but the less you blame others, the more you will exercise greater intuition and greater judgment about what's really going on. It means you rely on yourself to determine your outcomes in life and break through adversity and this is a powerful thing!

Take full responsibility for your situation and discover how you can create success for yourself without giving away your power. Ask yourself the following questions: Am I in charge of my life outcomes? Can I personally make things better in this situation? How can I take responsibility to become better?

When you do this, you grow to feel more independent, increase determination and grow stronger as you find new ways to enhance stronger character traits. Fulfill your deepest needs and take responsibility for your outcomes that you want to manifest into your life - from now onwards, to your life success and powers.

Stop blaming and start claiming Responsibility for your results

Unsuccessful people blame external circumstances; successful people internalize responsibility for their results. This represents a new way of thinking; a paradigm shift that is necessary for your progress. Until this shift takes place the unsuccessful continue to get more and more of what they don't want, and comically it is never their fault. The following poem illustrates the above explanation.

When the other fellow takes a long time, he's slow.
When I take a long time, I'm thorough.
When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy,
When I don't do it, I'm busy.
When the other fellow does something without being told, he's overstepping his bounds,
When I do it, that's initiative.
When the other fellow overlooks a rule of etiquette, he's rude,
When I skip a few rules, I'm original.
When the other fellow pleases the boss, he's an apple polisher,
When I please the boss, it's cooperation.
When the other fellow gets ahead, he's getting the breaks,
When I manage to get ahead, that's just the reward for hard work.

A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he says someone pushed him. - Elmer G. Letterman

Blaming others Stories

Blaming others StoriesSometimes in life, we do come up with lame excuses, blinded by circumstances / challenges we face, but blaming others or making excuses for our behavior is a waste of time because no matter how much fault we find in others and regardless of how much we blame someone, it will not change us and most certainly not add to our growth or success. So read the following story to understand the blaming game.

Once there was a rich man who had a beautiful orchard with splendid figs. He appointed two watchmen for his orchard. One watchman was lame and the other one was blind.

One day the lame watchman said to the blind watchman: "I see splendid figs in the orchard. Come, I will ride on your shoulders, and we will take them and eat them."

So the lame watchman rode on the shoulders of the blind watchman, and they took the fig fruits and ate them.

Some time after, the owner of the orchard came and inquired, "Where are those splendid figs?" The lame watchman replied, "Have I feet to walk with?" The blind watchman replied, "Have I eyes to see with?"

What did the rich man do? He placed the lame watchman on the shoulders of the blind watchman and judged them together.

Now the thing that I call living is just being satisfied. With knowing I got no one left to blame.

Blame someone else for your fault story

One day when my son Scott was two years old, I heard him crying. I went into his room and my daughter Hannah, who was four, was there also. A plastic bat was lying on the floor.

"What happened to Scott?" I asked.

Hannah answered, "He hit his head."

"On what?"

She pointed toward the bat on the floor and said, "The bat."

"Where was the bat?"

Hannah said, "In my hand."

Blaming others also needs wisdom story

Once a ship got caught in a violent storm. It wreaked havoc and the waves cast its wrecks on the sands of the shore. Among them was a sailor who lay senseless on the beach. When he came to his senses, he cursed the sea saying, "The Sea is a cheat indeed. It attracts people with its cool and calm waters and once they are in its grip, it turns furious and destroys them."

Hearing his reproach, the sea felt pinched. But it didn't want to trouble the sailor anymore. So, it came to the sailor in form of a damsel.

"Who are you, O lovely lady?" asked the sailor.

"I am the sea and am as lovely as you see me now. You are blaming me for the wreck but it isn't just." Surprised, the sailor asked, "Who is just then?"

The sea urged, "The wreck was caused by the cruel winds that blew into gusts and gales over me and created stormy waves in my calm waters."

The sailor had nothing to say except feeling sorry for blaming the sea.

Almost all unhappiness in life comes from the tendency to blame someone else. - Brian Tracey

Related: Personal Responsibility at your work place, Rewards for taking full Responsibility

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Islamic Moral Stories is designed by Akramulla Syed Last Updated: Thursday, December 14, 2017